Carol Byars passed away July 11, 2006. She was a leaders in the victims' movement to abolish the death penalty and a powerful voice for the healing power of forgiveness. May God rest her soul.
Carol was a member of the Journey of Hope...from Violence to Healing, Murder Victims Families for Reconciliation, Murder Victims Families for Human Rights, Citizens United for Alternatives to the Death penalty, Texas Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty, and the National Coalition to Abolish the Death Penalty.
Carol Byars’ husband, James Hapney, was shot in 1977 by his mother’s
next-door neighborhood during an altercation. He died from his wounds
eight months later. Carol’s mother-in-law immediately urged family
members to get guns and retaliate, but Carol knew even then that she
wanted nothing to do with vengeance. "There had been enough
bloodshed," she says.
In court, Carol observed the man who was ultimately convicted of the
crime and sentenced to life in prison. "I remember thinking he had
the face of a baby," she recalls, "and I remember thinking
about how he had a mama, and a young wife, and babies of his own. I
couldn’t imagine his mother watching her child being put to death, or
his children watching their father being put to death. I never wanted
that."
Years later, Carol tried to make contact with the man who had killed
her husband. "I went to find him to tell him I had forgiven him,
" she says, "and I found out he had died. I’m sorry I never
had a chance to tell him."
Reprinted with permission from Not
In Our Name: Murder Victims Families Speak Out Against the Death Penalty,
a publication of Murder Victims Families For Reconciliation, Barbara Hood
& Rachel King, Editors; MVFR
Carol Byars Quotes:
"It is past time for being silent about the death penalty.
In Texas, we’re executing record numbers each year. Things have gotten
so bad because people have all been silent and let things get bad. We
are told many times that we are not supposed to forgive – that when
people do horrible things to us we should do something just as bad in
retribution. Those of us who know better – those of us who know the
power of forgiveness – need to speak up. Every chance we get, we need
to challenge the mentality that compassion is a weakness. Compassion
is the toughest thing of all, but it’s the only thing that works to
restore peace in our live."
"When my husband was killed a piece of me died with him, but in time I
discovered the only way to heal was to let go of the pain and anger.
I chose to honor his memory through compassion and forgiveness, not by creating more victims."
